I was having dinner with a few friends the other day and we were talking about our ideal person to date. I’ll just call them Mike, Jenn, and Eunice (probably 3 of the more common Korean American names of our generation. Jenn who is a 27 year old working professional in New York City asked, “Hey, do you know any guys you could setup Eunice with?” I looked over at Eunice to see her blush a little, but not even attempt to retract the request. Eunice, who is a 30 year New Yorker working for a non-profit organization is a very sweet person and reminds me of a Korean Meg Ryan. So our conversation went something like this…
Johnny: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Eunice: Someone sweet and has a good foundation.
Johnny: Uh, can you be a bit more vague?
Eunice: Someone who is educated, has a good job, and oh, goes to church.
Johnny: Thats better, what about looks?
Eunice: I think he should be Korean-American but I guess I’m open to all Asian. He should be tall.
(At this point I can tell she’s not really into dating a non-Korean, but more like she’s desperate)
Johnny: Is this someone you want to date or marry?
Eunice: Well, of course to marry… what’s the point of dating if you’re not going to marry them?
(Mike and I look at each other and through eye contact we know there are several other reasons)
Mike: Eunice, you’re going to scare off every guy you meet if you say you want to get married soon.
Jenn: That’s not true, lots of guys want to get married.
Mike: Not until they have to!
(At this point, I realize Eunice just wants to find a decent guy who is willing to take a relationship seriously, unlike Mike.
Johnny: Alright, I’m a number guy, give me list of criteria to use and I’ll set you up.
Eunice: 1. At least 6 inches taller than me (she’s 5′ 2″ — the average height of all Korean girls)
Eunice: 2. Has to be Christian (and when she means Christian, she means Presbyterian — the most popular denomination of all Korean Americans)
Eunice: 3. Have a college degree
Eunice: 4. A good and stable job. I don’t need to live fancy, just a modest home and enough to support a family of 4 or 5.
Eunice: 5. Not a smoker
Eunice: 6. Be supportive and always willing to listen to me
Johnny: Wow, sounds like a job description. What about personality?
Eunice: Oh well, he should be funny, somewhat witty, and I kind of like them a little dorky.
Johnny: Jenn, what about you? Do you have similar criteria?
Jenn: 1. He has to be taller than me with heels on. (She’s 5′ 6″ and with 3 or 4 inch heels, you’re talking 5’9″ or 5’10″ to be on the safe side
Jenn: 2. Athletic build body
Jenn: 3. Funny and smart with an outgoing personality.
Jenn: 4. Any type of Christian, Protestant, Catholic – doesn’t matter as long as we read from the same Bible
Jenn: 5. Passionate about something whether it’s a hobby or work
Jenn: 6. Someone who shows me that they like me a lot
Johnny: Ok, well I post those on Craigslist and see who responds…
Eunice: No! I thought you were going to find friends for us.
Johnny: Oh, so both of you want to be introduced… I’ll get back to you on that.
So we chat a bit more in detail as I stared into a gaze trying to think of who I could setup them up with. It was difficult to think of my friends as smart or passionate guys, but the whole height thing can be a challenging criteria.
I then spoke to a few other Korean American females and found out their responses weren’t too dissimilar from each other. The consensus is that Korean American girls are looking for other Korean American guys (even though they say they are open, in truth, they really aren’t; this is because our parents have successfully driven into our heads that we can only marry Korean) who have a sense of personality most often humor or wit, taller the better, believe in God, have a decent job, and willing to treat them like the Princess they have always dreamed of being. Everything else seems negotiable. So if any of you guys are reading this, this is what Korean American women want…
NEXT WEEK: What do Korean American Men Want?