Once upon a time, I used to spend hours and hours planning out the perfect first date.  From the way I would greet her to where we would eat and where we would go after dinner, it was a formulaic masterpiece.  Back then, I was under the impression that the first date had to be a big fanfare in order to impress a girl.  So I found the best restaurant around, the most romantic place to have dessert, and even brought flowers to her when I picked her up.  However, after going on several dates and speaking with several girls who also had gone on many first dates I realized there are more cost effective ways of impressing a girl and that the amount of money one spends is often times unimportant.

As a guy, the ideal first date is more about sending a message than it is spending tons of money.  The kind of message that says, “hey, I think I like you so let’s get to know each other.”   I can also understand those that feel the problem with going all out on the first date is that it sets the bar too high.  It’s possible all that time and effort could create the expectation the second date and any future dates will match or exceed the first one.  So, as a general rule of thumb, I avoid spending too much money on the first date.

Sure, as a girl, I can understand it feels good to be taken out to a nice dinner and treated like a queen.  I am sure many guys can accommodate this type of experience, but perhaps more questions will be raised if the second date isn’t as big of an investment.  I’m not saying the first date has to be an expensive dinner or a sophisticated itinerary, but often times we guys think we can purchase ambiance by going to a nicer restaurant.   I was inspired to write this piece based on some fantastic stories I recently heard of friends and their effective first date stories.  Here’s one of them.

One of my friends, we’ll call him Tom, recently met a girl at a party who piqued his interest.   So he got her phone number and gave her a call the following day to setup a time for their first date.  Tom, who is a student on a limited budget, did not have the option of taking her to the fanciest or even most romantic restaurant.  However, he did manage to do one of the more creative things I have heard of on a first date.  They met at an agreed upon location and when they she arrived, he had one candy bar in each hand and show it to the girl and said the date could go in one of two directions depending on which candy bar she picked.  I thought this was a fun way to add a bit of spontaneity for both parties and so far required maybe a $2 investment.

On the back of each candy bar, Tom has two very separate ideas.  The idea behind one candy bar was to head to a museum and walk around followed by some wine and cheese afterward.  The idea behind the other candy bar was to rent bicycles and ride around the park and a mini picnic halfway through the ride.  Both required minimal cash and more importantly offered a comfortable, casual environment to get to know each other yet do something that is more interesting than the traditional sit down dinner first date.

It’s possible that an activity such as bike riding is not ideal or your date doesn’t drink alcohol, but I think the lesson is that a lot of good can come from thinking outside the box and perhaps offering some options could help make the first date be a memorable one that doesn’t break the bank and more importantly impresses your date enough to want a second date.  So I challenge all the guys and girls out there to avoid the fancy first date and try something new and/or spontaneous!

-Johnny

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