Have you ever been on a date and before you eat, the person you are having dinner with bows his or her head and says grace?  It’s not uncommon these days among many Korean Americans who usually, if religious, will be some denomination of Christianity, Buddhist, and even some Muslim.  A majority of what I have seen is Christian, Atheist, or a nondenominational believer of God.  Even within Christianity, there are various faith groups including Catholics, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Baptists, etc.  But, the question I have always had is, how important is the religious belief of the person I am dating.  I took a look at some familiar scenarios I have seen  to reflect on.

Guy is Atheist and Girls is Atheist: God who?  Let’s just do whatever we want and whenever we want.

Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Presbyterian: A potential match made in “Heaven”.  This couple can go to church together, pray before meals together, and more importantly, they believe it is God who has brought them together.

Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Atheist: I’ve noticed religion is less important to guys than girls, but I could be wrong.  As a result, the guy plays the religious component down and does everything he can to make the girls feel comfortable so religion never really becomes a factor.

Guy is Atheist and Girl is Presbyterian: While at first this may not seem like the ideal scenario, I’ve noticed girls can be very passionate about their religion.  Girls could be attracted to the “bad boy” type at first and then feel like once they get to know the guy, she can begin talking about how important God is to her and eventually be the catalyst for the guy to be “saved”.

Guy is Catholic and Girl is Presbyterian: Might be easier to predict the stock market.  The feasibility of this relationship depends on the girl’s interpretation of whether Catholicism is technically a Christian religion.   Often times, answers do vary on this interpretation.

Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Catholic: Another toss up.  If both are open-minded, then the relationship has potential.  But, even it does work out, what about the kids?!!!

I am sure there are many other combinations but have yet to see a Buddhist and a Christian really hit it off.

The above are just random samples of what I’ve seen in my short time here on Earth.  What I do notice is that religion does affect whether someone wants to go on a second and third date.   However, often times, it’s less of a factor that one might think so long as both parties are open minded and respectful.  I find this the best way to approach everything from politics, to religion and even the question of marriage — to be open minded.   I’ve seen where spirituality (not necessary faith by religion) is something that brings people closer whether the same denomination or not.   The practice of some sort of faith instills a spiritual component to any relationship that can help couples get through the more challenging times.   And for those who believe in a God but don’t believe in God, they should be open minded about the possibility of a spiritual life in any form that works for them.

-Johnny