Facebook
Have you ever been on a date and before you eat, the person you are having dinner with bows his or her head and says grace? It’s not uncommon these days among many Korean Americans who usually, if religious, will be some denomination of Christianity, Buddhist, and even some Muslim. A majority of what I have seen is Christian, Atheist, or a nondenominational believer of God. Even within Christianity, there are various faith groups including Catholics, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Baptists, etc. But, the question I have always had is, how important is the religious belief of the person I am dating. I took a look at some familiar scenarios I have seen to reflect on.
Guy is Atheist and Girls is Atheist: God who? Let’s just do whatever we want and whenever we want.
Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Presbyterian: A potential match made in “Heaven”. This couple can go to church together, pray before meals together, and more importantly, they believe it is God who has brought them together.
Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Atheist: I’ve noticed religion is less important to guys than girls, but I could be wrong. As a result, the guy plays the religious component down and does everything he can to make the girls feel comfortable so religion never really becomes a factor.
Guy is Atheist and Girl is Presbyterian: While at first this may not seem like the ideal scenario, I’ve noticed girls can be very passionate about their religion. Girls could be attracted to the “bad boy” type at first and then feel like once they get to know the guy, she can begin talking about how important God is to her and eventually be the catalyst for the guy to be “saved”.
Guy is Catholic and Girl is Presbyterian: Might be easier to predict the stock market. The feasibility of this relationship depends on the girl’s interpretation of whether Catholicism is technically a Christian religion. Often times, answers do vary on this interpretation.
Guy is Presbyterian and Girl is Catholic: Another toss up. If both are open-minded, then the relationship has potential. But, even it does work out, what about the kids?!!!
I am sure there are many other combinations but have yet to see a Buddhist and a Christian really hit it off.
The above are just random samples of what I’ve seen in my short time here on Earth. What I do notice is that religion does affect whether someone wants to go on a second and third date. However, often times, it’s less of a factor that one might think so long as both parties are open minded and respectful. I find this the best way to approach everything from politics, to religion and even the question of marriage — to be open minded. I’ve seen where spirituality (not necessary faith by religion) is something that brings people closer whether the same denomination or not. The practice of some sort of faith instills a spiritual component to any relationship that can help couples get through the more challenging times. And for those who believe in a God but don’t believe in God, they should be open minded about the possibility of a spiritual life in any form that works for them.
-Johnny
Related posts:
- Dear Johnny: Korean American Dating Insights This is the launch of the “Dear Johnny” Dating Column...
- Dear Johnny: Dating Older and Dating Younger, the Korean Way Once upon a time, the “normal” dating relationship consisted of...
- Dear Johnny: What do Korean American Women Want? I was having dinner with a few friends the other...
- Dear Johnny: Are Dating Websites Legitimate? When I meet up with friends and we discuss the...
- Dear Johnny: Korean Parents on Dating My parents worked hard to provide me one of the...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
December 7th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Nice article. I do agree with you that people need to more open-minded, but as some point, be it between you and your significant other, or with your kids, there’s going to be a philosophy clash.
Plus, a lot of Korean Americans use churches as social meeting sites. If you’re not religious or at least pseudo-religious, good luck with trying to date them.
December 19th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Intimately, the post is in reality the greatest on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your incoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be enough, for the wonderful clarity in your writing. I will right away grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates. Gratifying work and much success in your business efforts!
December 30th, 2009 at 10:55 am
great site for christan dating!
February 12th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Wow, I came across this site because I have a mini crush on Tim Kang. And I feel like I hit the jackpot with finding the “Dear Johnny” column. I’ve only dated Asians my whole life and have dealt with almost any and every situation you can imagine (all within 3 very serious relationships)
Young Korean guy / w loose religious beliefs
Older Korean guy / w no religious beliefs
Close in age w/ super religious beliefs (currently dating)
My boyfriend is a Korean American with strict Catholic parents (his father is in school for priest hood). I’m, more or less, mixed w/ African American and non religious.
This puts an unbelievable about of strain on our relation for so many reasons. Not only am I not catholic, but I’m not even asian, so basically I’m the devil to them. We’ve been dating over a year and I’ve never met his parents. Its been a topic of discussion many times, and with each conversation it gets more an more heated. Religion is so important to him and I’ve never been interested in following one strictly. I’m open minded but not a follower of any.
I could go on for ever about this. I’m just happy that someone out there is trying to promote positive relations between different people. I believe we’re not so different after you take away all the labels (that are put there to separate us). Thanks so much for being open minded.